Agent Ritter 9:01 PM Rotzenberry Farm, Twin Hills, AZ

The quarantine specialists pulled up in two big white vans that had the letters “TH” in black paint on them. Out of the van closest to us hopped a man wearing a deep green button up shirt, black slacks and dress shoes. It was Special Agent Ian Willows. He quickly ran over to us to check on the status. “Whats the sitch?” Willows asked, “Old Bruce needs to be taken to the local hospital. He tried to put up razor wire in his yard and it cut him clean open, causing hallucinations of a large monster composed of his prized crop.” I replied pointing to the flaming carcass. Willows looked at the creature, “Christ, that’s one way to have a fear of corn.” he said, “Thats a good one.” Skully chuckled, “What the hell?” Wells said as he looked at Skully. Wells stood up and scanned Willows with a grimace, “There’s room for only one laid back funny man, Willows.” he said with a standoffish pose. Willows ignored him, “I have the med team in the other van riding with Agent Saz.” he started, “The med team can keep him stable and Saz will drive them to the hospital.” he continued.

Agent Willows turned and sprinted to the other van. “That guys fast.” Skully said, “I’m like, way faster.” Wells said, we ignored that comment, “He founded our division’s annual rugby games.” I replied and Skully gave me a strange look, “He worked around military intelligence while staying in Ireland for two years. He picked up the love of the game while he was there.” I continued, “We all have our passions.” Skully replied with a smirk.

Out of the second van Agent Tara Saz, a short bubbly blonde woman stepped out and greeted Willows, we couldn’t make out what she was being told but she nodded and ran to the back of the van and popped it open. Two women in blue jumpsuits stepped out and grabbed a stretcher. The taller one had long red hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. The shorter one had the same length and styled hair but it was black, she wore thick glasses and had pale as the moon skin. As they trotted over I stood up to assist.

They dropped the stretcher on the ground and bent over to gently move Old Bruce. As I reached down, “Stop, we know what we are doing.” the one with the glasses said, and I froze with my hands up like I dropped a hot potato, “Sorry.” I said. Her name tag read “Jewels” and the woman with the red hair’s read “Niki” They wore the same rubber gloves I use when doing medic work on the field. When Jewels reached to grab Old Bruce’s ankles I noticed a small black tattoo on her right wrist under the glove. “We have to get going now.” Jewels said while raising her eyebrows. They turned and went back to the van with Old Bruce.

“New girl’s got some ‘tude.” Wells chimed, “She’s new too?” Skully asked, “Yeah, I’m sure you have heard we have a high turnaround rate in the TH division. Niki has been here a while, though I don’t talk to her much. Jewels has been curt since she started, but she’s a professional either way.” I said, “You mean she’s a high class bitch.” Wells corrected. “So you’re done here, right?” I said to Wells, “Yeah, I think I can hitch a ride back to HQ with Bozo.” he replied while thumbing towards Willows, who had started to put on a big silver space suit. Another agent already dressed up in one walked from around the van and grabbed two back pack mounted flame throwers and handed one to Willows. “Looks like you were right, Wells.” Skully said as she gestured to the flame throwers, “I’m always right. That’s why I ordered those. I’m going to see if they brought me one.” he replied as he strolled over.

Skully and I stood up watching the quarantine team get to work blasting the cornfield with fire. “So I guess we need to pay Jon a visit.” Skully said with a tilt of her head, “Yup, we are going to need to get some rest after this one. We can stay overnight at HQ and file the information we have now, or file it all after we see Jon.” I said, “Nah, I need cheap wine and a bath.” Skully replied with a sigh. I smirked back and packed up my med kit, “Alright, we can meet back up in the morning.” I said, “Back at the Guild again?” Skully asked, “No, Wells will be waiting for us there again. I will grab us some coffees and pick you up on the way to Utini Corp.” I replied, “Sounds good.” she said.

Agent Ritter 9:00 AM Outside Skully’s residence, Twin Hills, AZ

I pulled up to the curb outside of a white one-story house with a picket fence surrounding very green grass. A walkway lead up to a stand alone mailbox that had pink flames in the style of a hot rod. “Looks like she’s started decorating.” I said to myself. I pulled out my phone and dialed Skully, “Ritter?” “Yeah.” “Okay, I’m heading out now.” boop. The front door opened a minute later and Skully stepped out in a black tank top and pink skinny jeans that tapered under her pink and black boots. She carried her satchel that had her trusty blaster within. She opened the door, placed the bag on the floor, sat down and and buckled up while closing the door, “Lets roll.” she said.

“Here.” I said, handing her a cold brew, “Thanks.” a hand reached out from the back seat, “It took you long enough to offer, you rude sonnovabitch.” the brown coated arm snatched the coffee from my hand, “Hi Wells.” Skully said without looking back. “How long have you been back there?” I asked, “Since last night, its roomier than it looks. It could use a sunroof and bathroom though, I had to use this bag I found.” he said reaching into his pocket, “Don’t pull it out, I know its one of my evidence bags.” I said with disgust, “Yeah, its evidence you could get some facilities installed here.” Wells replied with a sip of coffee in his mouth. “Put on your seat belt if you are going to be in my car.” I said. Wells clicked it into place and sat patiently.

I put the car into gear and we headed towards Utini Corp. “We might have to arrest Jon if we find out he was involved.” I said as we pulled away from the white picket fence. I started, “We will ask him to come with us to the station for questioning, it he doesn’t comply,” “Pow!” Wells interrupted with his and between Skully and I in the shape of a gun, “No guns.” I said, “Things get messy when people start waiving their pieces around.” I continued, “They can waive my piece around.” Wells replied. We stopped to get one more coffee on the way.

Agent Ritter 9:32 AM Utini Corp HQ, Twin Hills, AZ

We walked over the checkered tiles once more to meet the receptionist again. “Welcome back, Doctor Ritter of the Wildlife Research Conservatory, Twin Hills division. It looks like you have another colleague; which bullshit organization is he with?” A. Moose said with a smirk, “Ah, I see your boss has already talked to you then. We have some questions for him.” I said, “Do you have an appointment?” she asked, “No, but we have badges.” Skully whipped out her FBI badge and shoved it in the receptionist’s face. Moose looked back, “Cliff!” she called then looked back at us, “He will escort you out of the building, come back and see us again soon.” she continued as she winked at me. The large security guard lumbered over with a scowl on his face.

The three of us walked to our right clearing the space between us and the receptionist desk. Cliff pointed to the front door as he continued to advance, “No can do, partner.” Wells said. “We need his keycard.” Skully whispered to me, “I’m on it.” I said under my breath. I strolled to meet Cliff and started, “If you know I am a federal agent, then you know you will have to comply with,” fwomp! Cliff’s fist smashed me in the solar plexus and I dropped to the floor, “Sucker punch.” I wheezed. Skully walked up to the man and his fists loosened, “We just have to talk to you boss, that’s it.” she said and the large man raised one eyebrow. “Yeah, we need to take him back to HQ and interrogate him until we find out what he knows about that black soil.” Wells chimed in, “Good to meet you Mr. Cliff, I’m Special Agent Wells.” he continued as he stepped over me with his hand extended. By reaction the large man gripped Wells’s hand and shook it. Wells surprised Cliff by swinging his left hand into his jaw, he didn’t budge even a fraction of space. Cliff’s eyes narrowed and he let go of Wells’s hand and raised it back preparing for a swing. Wells dodged the incoming meteor of a fist, slipped under Cliff’s legs and crawled onto his back like a large lizard. Wells wrapped his arms around Cliff’s throat, then punched his head; the big man didn’t move. Finally, Wells grabbed the man’s face, “I just went peepee, and I didn’t wash my hands.” Wells said and the large man bellowed, “Rahhhh! Get off of me!” he screamed and thrashed.

Skully took the opportunity to snag the guard’s key card from his lapel, “Thanks, big guy.” she said and we ran towards the elevator. I could see the receptionist picking up the phone at the front desk as we went. “We probably could have used the firepower.” Skully huffed pressing level fourteen as the elevator doors closed, “I still have these.” I said pulling out two small stun guns. They were top of the line and could deliver a devastating charge. These ones had electrodes they could also fire out for an initial jolt if someone was running from you, or at you. I handed one to Skully, “Lets just hope we don’t have to use it.” she said.

The doors opened and we walked back into the massive penthouse, “Hello there, nice to see you two again.” Jon said standing behind his desk, “I heard you have some questions for me.” “Yeah, what are the compounds in that soil you gave to Old Bruce?” I asked, “It’s a secret recipe.” Jon said with a smile. “Whatever is in your secret recipe is creating giant chimeric monsters.” Skully said, “Monsters?!” Jon said in shock, “Yes, monsters. We killed one at Old Bruce’s farm and we have another back at our lab.” I replied, “This soil isn’t for making monsters, unless you mean it makes crops heartier and more nutritious.” Jon said, “A giant ear of corn was eating Old Bruce’s sheep.” Skully said looking over her glasses. Jon put on a questioning look. I started to realize Jon might not be in the loop, “You are the head scientist, right?” I asked, “Yes, I oversee all of our work.” “Then you should have the data files on who was working on this and when, correct? Can we take a look and see if anyone has tampered with your secret recipe?” I asked, “Yes, we can check the logs to see who was working on it and what they have been doing!” Jon said excitedly and a snap of his fingers.

Jon unlocked his console so that we could check the database for all of the employees logs. The Unini Corp logo spun and faded away from a black screen. Jon scrolled down to look at each of the projects on the screen, “Ah there, Soil-42.” He said. “How many iterations of this soil are there?” I asked, “Fourty-two. This is the latest version, all others have been destroyed.” Jon replied while clicking through the logs, he stopped while hovering over the main ingredient list. Click click the browser pulled open a large list of ingredients, Skully listed them off; “Loam, nitric oxide, phosphorous, potassium silicate, boron, chlorine, copper, ferrous fumarate, manganese, molybdenum, zinc gluconate and HydroGene. Whats HydroGene?” “Its our brand new formula that is designed to acquire more hydrogen and carbon dioxide to stimulate growth.” Jon replied with pride, “Do you think whatever is in that could also be causing this?” Skully asked, “I don’t see why it would, to create something like what you described would require more than just a hydrogen supplement.” “Okay, then check the logs for any entries on this project other than you.” Skully replied, Jon did as she asked and when to the log check in. One-thousand-fourty-two entries populated the screen. “They all have your name on them.” Skully said, “You’ve signed off on every single document.” she continued, “I am the only one here who has supervised watching the production of this soil as far as I know.” Jon replied.

We continued to scroll until Jon noticed something, “Stop, do you see that log?” “Yeah, you signed off on it too.” I replied, “Look at the time.” Jon pointed. “All of these logs have been entered a little after five-thirty PM, but starting a few months ago there is this additional log in per day.” Skully said, “Precisely, this one is at two-thirty AM!” Jon said, “Do you have any overnighters working here?” I asked, “Yes, we have a few; Doctor Lambic, Doctor Bloom, Doctor Proctor and Doctor McGee rotates overnight once in a while.” Jon said, “These logs are pretty consistent, every one ends at two-thirty AM. I noticed every one of your logs is around five-thirty but not an exact time.” Skully replied, “I’m not absent minded!” Jon said, “I didn’t say that, but whoever figured out your log in has been finishing reports at precisely two-thirty AM every other day for the last couple of months. Given your inconsistencies there is a very possible breach of security here.” Skully replied.

We scrolled through the log ins that happened at two-thirty AM. Each one of them had new substances that were either shelved for later or scrapped altogether. After ten entries we stumbled onto something curious, “You were digging at Schittz Mine,” Skully began, “what for?” “Mineral deposits, but the license was for anything we found, including fossils and the like.” Jon said, “Did you find anything?” “Just dirt and coal so far. We went pretty deep, and haven’t found much. I put a hold on the excavation because it wasn’t yielding us anything and cost a lot to maintain.” Jon replied, “Have you been to the dig site personally?” I asked, “Once.” “Well I’ve got news for you.” I said while pointing to the screen, “You’ve been there every other night according to your computer here.” I continued, “And tonight looks like the night.”

“Brilliant!” Jon said, “We can catch whoever has been posing as me and I can fire their ass!” “Maybe we can apprehend them first, then you can fire them.” Skully said, Jon nodded. “Whoever is doing this is finishing their report by two-thirty AM.” Skully started, “We can wait at the dig site.” she finished, “Great! We will be a team!” Jon exclaimed, “No, it’s too dangerous for you Doktor Jon.” I replied. Jon looked down, disappointed, “You need your sleep so you can run this place.” Skully said as she put a hand on Jon’s shoulder. Jon smiled and nodded, “Yes, well I am sure you’re right. If there is any way I can help, let me know.” he said, “You’ve done enough, get your beauty sleep.” I replied, then thought it over a second, “Now that I think of it, your guard might be pummeling one of our agents downstairs, can you have him stop?” “I will see what I can do.” Jon replied with a big smile.

We walked back into the elevator and let the doors close as we hit the level one button. “If the logs ended at two-thirty then we probably need to be at the dig site earlier than that.” Skully started, “Yeah, this early shift just became an all nighter. We will have to get over there sometime after six and wait nearby; whoever it is specifically waits for Jon to be out of the office before taking action.” I replied looking at my watch.

The doors opened on the first floor, Cliff was sprawled out on the floor, breathing slowly. Moose was hovering over him on her knees, “The cops are coming; your friend is a real shit!” she said pointing to Wells who was sitting on one of the benches near the front door looking straight forward, hands behind his head and legs crossed over the ankles, “What took you so long?” he asked, “What happened? What did you do to Cliff?” I questioned, “I asked first.” Wells glared, “Did you annoy him until he passed out from frustration?” Skully asked, “I outwitted him, plain and simple.” Wells replied standing up. I went over to Cliff, put on my gloves and checked his breathing and pulse, “He should be okay, sorry about Wells, we just needed to ask your boss some questions. We are all good, no one is getting arrested today.” I said with a reassuring smile, “Except you!” Moose said angrily.

The front door opened and Sheriff Jayne walked through, “What’s going on here?” she asked, “That moose on the ground just assaulted two federal agents.” Wells replied, Moose looked up, “I did nothing of the sort!” “It was a figure of speech.” Wells called to Moose, “Anyways, book em’ Danno!” he said to Jayne. I stood up and walked over to Sheriff Jayne and Wells, “No one needs to be arrested, there was a mix up, Cliff here didn’t know I was a federal agent and hit me in the stomach, that was all.” “I still need to file a report.” Jayne replied, “Understood, I can come to the precinct later and we can go over it. I just need to free up my time by six tonight.” I replied, “Hot date?” Jayne asked, “Not date.” I replied, “We have some business to attend to.” I motioned towards Skully who was behind the receptionists desk. Skully saw me and looked back down for a moment, she pulled out her phone while looking towards Moose. “What is she..” Jayne started; Skully quickly put the phone away and trotted over to us, “Well I guess we will be on our way then.” she said, “I have to go to the precinct so we can give our side of the report, it shouldn’t take long.” I replied, Skully didn’t look amused, “Fine, I’ve got something that is of interest when we are done.” she said.

Agent Ritter 10:59 AM Twin Hills Police Department, Twin Hills, AZ

Wells was sitting in a viewing room finishing up his side of the Utini Corp incident to Sheriff Jayne. “Once hes done finishing off his harrowing story we can get moving. So what did you say you found out?” I asked while we waited on the other side of the viewing room. Skully pulled out her phone, “Miss Moose had a written log book at her front desk with times people stepped into the building.” she said, “Okay, I will bite, how does this help us?” I asked, “Because I checked the time she wrote down for everyone’s arrival. Doctor Bloom has shown up at exactly eight PM every night.” “But the culprit has been showing up every other night.” I responded, “Every other night exactly.” Skully corrected while looking over her glasses at me. The door to the interrogation room opened and Wells strolled out, Jayne followed with her long brown hair slightly disheveled, “I believe you all, but I think Skully was the most accurate to what happened. Wells likely annoyed the energy right out of Mister Cliff out there.” she shumbed behind her at the exit door, “We will keep cliff detained until morning; even if excused, assaulting a federal agent is illegal.” we nodded. “Deputy Doubleaye will see you three out.” Jayne continued.

A short man with a set of slightly familiar eyes and a thin beard walked up, “Hello, this way.” he said. We followed Deputy Doubleaye over the blue carpet, through the precinct that had several desks on either side of the walkway. Each desk, we passed by a room with an insignia on it reading, “Notable Assault and Rescue Deputy-Sheriffs” I stopped for a second, “Is this new?” I asked, “Yeah, Sheriff Jayne wanted to start a special group of officers dedicated to some of the strange going-ons in this town. So she made the Notable Assault and Rescue Deputy-Sheriffs, AKA the NARDS department.” Doubleaye said. I looked over to Skully, both of her eyebrows were as high as they could go, “Okay, good enough. Thank you Doubleaye.” I said with a smile, “No problem, I’m applying for a position with them. They might need a helicopter pilot soon.” Doubleaye said as he waved us to follow him through a set large oak double-doors leading to the main entrance of the precinct.

As we walked out of the building I looked up to a dark sky filled with clouds, “Have a great day!” I looked back to see Doubleaye grinning and waving at us; we returned the gesture with short flicks of the wrist. After the door closed Skully nudged me, “So, do we ditch em’?” she whispered as she pointed to Wells, who was looking at the Utini Corp building in disgust, “Have we successfully done so yet?” I asked, “Good point.” Skully replied, “Come on Wells, we have a stake out to prepare for.” she called towards the awkward man wearing a brown duster.

I pulled out my phone to call Dr. Serenity, “Hello? Ritter?” “Yeah, it’s me, how is your new friend doing?” I asked, “You mean Skuttles?” she replied, “I mean the potato with eyes, fingers and teeth.” “That sounds like a child’s toy. Skuttles is doing fine, I’ve been feeding her scraps to keep her going for now. She’s quite remarkable.” she said, “Fascinating.” “To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” “Can you tell me if any of those compounds in the soil could have come from a mine?” I asked, “Absolutely, potassium silicate is found in coal.” I paused for a moment, “Hello, are you still there?” “Yes, sorry. I will call you back, thank you for the help.” “You’re welcome, bye now.” click. “What’s going on?” Skully asked, “We already had a good lead, but whatever is affecting the soil is definitely coming from that mine.”

Agent Ritter 7:45 PM Utini Corp HQ outside the garage because we didn’t want to pay, Twin Hills, AZ

We let Wells have the binoculars because he had quote, “Eagle eyes.” if you had eagle eyes, wouldn’t binoculars be ineffective at the least and outright impeding if it was the truth? I don’t know, but we sat there anyways not questioning his “logic”. I took a sip of my cold brew coffee, the ice had partially melted as we had been sitting for a few hours. Miss Moose had already left for her shift and a different well dressed woman with slightly darker skin and hair replaced her. She wore lime green glasses and low heals with a white dress suit. “We are coming up on time here,” Skully started, “this time we go maximum effort.” she said to me, “We just have to see exactly what Doctor Bloom is up to, there still isn’t proof.” “I want to believe.” Skully replied, I raised my eyebrow with a shake of my head.

At exactly seven fifty-five PM a large dark car passed by us and drove into the garage. A few moments later a man with dark hair and thick glasses walked up to the entrance of Utini Corp. The man wore a garish yellow suit, “Think that’s our guy?” Skully asked; the man stopped right in front of the double glass doors and looked at his watch impatiently with the tap of his foot, “Bingo.” Wells replied before I could. At exactly seven fifty-nine he started strolling again. When he reached the front desk the receptionist greeted him, “They seem friendly.” Wells observed, “We can’t tell, you’re the one with the binoculars.” Skully replied, “Get your own.” Wells said as the binocular caps swung under his face with the letters,” S K U L L Y” written in white paint on the outside. “He’s on the move towards the elevator.” Wells said, “The new guard looks like a pushover.” he continued, “What frame of reference do you have for that?” I asked, Wells looked back at me, biting his lower lip with a flexed arm which was still covered by his jacket, “Mmmhmm.” he replied with the bob of his head.

The man in the yellow suit stepped into the elevator. We watched in silence for a moment before Wells piped up, “Top floor.” “How can you tell?” Skully asked, “He put his desk right next to the window, that suit isn’t doing him any favors.” Wells replied, I looked at Skully while gesturing at Wells, she nodded in approval. A few minutes later the elevator opened back up and the yellow suit stepped out of the elevator waving to the receptionist, then headed for the front doors. When the man walked out, he took three steps and froze, looking right in our direction, “Does he..” Skully started; the man looked at his watch tapping his foot then continued moving again, “Okay nope, just OCD.” Skully continued.

The large dark car exited the expensive parking garage and pulled onto the street. It took a right and we followed in silence, Wells kept the binoculars trained on the car ahead. Skully put her car in gear and crept behind the mystery vehicle with the headlights off. We drove until we were just a couple miles into the outskirts of Twin Hills then we saw the sign, “Schittz Mine One Mile Ahead.”

Agent Ritter 8:29 PM Schittz Mine Twin Hills, AZ

The dark car had already parked in the dirt lot. The man in the yellow suit was standing under a flood light pointing into the large expanse of the cave before him staring at his watch. Skully parked her car and we stepped out into the dark night. The man in the yellow suit was met by three construction workers who stepped out of the mine. Skully lifted her shotgun bag with a quizzical look, I nodded, “Yeah, I think we will need them this time.” I said as I checked my ammo; fifteen rounds, five in the cylinder and ten in custom speed loaders. “Wells, did you come prepared?” I asked, “Hell yeah.” Wells said opening his jacket to reveal six magazines on either side, “We are likely arresting four people, maybe just one, not going to war.” Skully emphasized, “There’s no such thing as over prepared.” Wells responded letting the jacket flaps fall back down.

We walked through the ankle high grass until we were close enough to see their faces. All three construction workers wore the same thing; beat up jeans, brown boots, checkered blue shirt, yellow hard hat and the orange safety vest. The biggest one looked down at the man in yellow nodding his head. The four men walked into the cave without turning on their headlamps or using flashlights. “Somethings wrong here.” Skully said, “Duh.” Wells said, “No, I mean more wrong than we think.” she continued, “Yeah, its going to be difficult to tail them if they aren’t using lights down there.” I said, “Right, and we cant use them either.” Skully added. “Ive got you covered.” Wells said, we looked at him to see a very large pair of night vision goggles on his face, the lenses zoomed in almost meeting Skully’s face. Wells pulled them up, “Just follow my lead when we get there.”

We reached the mouth of the cave, Wells pulled the goggles over his face, “Hold my hands.” he said sticking his arms out in a heavenly gesture. Wells wiggled his hands around, “What are you waiting for?” I looked at Skully and settled for grabbing Wells’s left shoulder with my right hand, Skully going with the right shoulder and her left hand, “Good enough, lets go.” Wells said and we silently plunged into darkness.

We walked almost a kilometer before we heard any noise. The venture started on dry dirt and air, as we went further into the cave the oxygen moistened and the ground squished under our feet. The dirt was only wet enough to soften our steps, it was not a mud pit. We could jumbled voices in the distance yelling at each other. “Okay, we are coming up on them, remember your trigger discipline.” I whispered, “Was that directed at me?” Wells said in his regular tone, the voices in the distance stopped for a moment and we froze. The chatter started back up again so we advanced, light started to permeate from around a corner we could see. Wells pulled up his night vision goggles, “Bogeys.” he said again in his regular tone pulling out his sub-machine gun. “Quiet.” I whispered, Wells gave me a glance, then screwed a silencer onto his gun and gave me the “you happy now?” look; I was not.

We rounded the corner where the light was coming from. We saw an immense silver half-disc sticking through a cave, it had dents and gashes all over it. The glowing seemed to be emanating from the metal itself. It was another alien craft; almost identical to the one in the picture we have back at headquarters. The immense craft was leaking a glowing purple ooze into the dirt from a gash created by a cement saw laying next to it. As we walked up we could tell they were not speaking English, they weren’t even speaking human. An elaborate set of croaks, clicks, hums and whistles were exchanged between the three men shoveling the ooze-dirt into buckets. They were now wearing gloves up to their elbows. I pulled out my phone, turning off the auto flash and took several pictures, Skully did the same, “Amateurs,” Wells said, “photographic memory.” he continued as he pointed to his head; the workers stopped and looked at us. The man in yellow turned around, this time he definitely saw us.

I grunted at Wells and stood up, pulling my revolver to the side. I walked towards the man in yellow, “Sir, you are going to have to come with,” I started until I recognized the man walking up to us. “Doktor Jon?” Skully said from behind, “Hardly.” the man said with a slightly squeaky voice while folding his hands over each other. “Doctor Bloom, at your service.” he said with a cringy smile.

I raised my weapon, training it on the Jon look alike. “You’re going to have to come with us.” I said, “I don’t think you want to shoot me.” He said, “That wouldn’t be good this body.” “No crap, dirtbag.” Wells said cocking his gun. The man in yellow stepped back a bit, “I don’t think you understand. Let me phrase it in a way you will, these people will not appreciate an attempt at being perforated by your silly human weapons.” the man in yellow said with a wide armed gesture. “Are you saying you’re bullet proof?” Wells asked, “What? No, I mean,” Bloom started as Wells raised his gun a bit pithew his gun kicked slightly as a hole went through the shoe of Bloom and a little red blood came out, “AHHHHHH!” he fell over clutching his foot, “Reaaaaahhhhh!” he screamed pointing to us. The biggest one stepped towards Wells “Let’s rock and roll, caveman!” “No, Wells. Don’t shoot!” I yelled, “What, why?” Wells said as a fist smashed him in the face.

Wells got up a moment later wiping the blood off of his mouth, “What’s going on, Ritter?” “I think they are still human, at least most of them. We have to knock them out somehow.” I said looking over to Skully who had already gotten to work.

Skully ran up, bashing the large man’s face with her elbow; he stumbled back shaking his face, then advanced towards her. I looked over to see a huge man rushing at me like a ram. He hit me like a train and I flew a few feet before landing on solid rock THUD “Damnit!” I yelled, I quickly checked my ribs, no breaks or fractures, I stood back up, “Okay, I guess we’re fighting now.” I said towards door number three staring me down like a hungry bear at a pick-a-nick basket.

In my time with the Twin Hills Division I’ve learned a few things; one, don’t let your guard down, too late on that one; two, loose clothes get you killed; and three, learn how to fight on more than one plain. I stepped back a few feet, looking behind me. The large man bellowed as he rushed me again, I sunk down and pulled my right elbow in front of me twisting my wrist vertically and put my left hand on his ribs blocking the right arm from wrapping me, slowing the big man. I looped my right arm around his neck and dropped my shoulder. The big man tried to push me into the wall with one more big heave, but I twisted to the right with my hips using his momentum against the bulk smashing him into the rock’s structure. He was out cold.

I ran over to Skully who must have learned a few judo moves in her time with the FBI. The large man scooped up dirt he presumably wanted to throw in her face, before I could say anything she had cracked his hand with the butt of her shotgun, breaking his fingers. The man screamed, Skully grabbed his arm, spun gracefully throwing the man like crash test dummy until he smashed his face into the dirt, he pulled his head back as he screamed with dust biting into his eyes. Skully finished it with a knee to the back of his head, and wrapping her arm around his neck locking it with her other arm until he passed out. She popped up, “Need help?” she asked, “I’m good.” I said pointing back. We turned to Wells.

The biggest man looked exhausted. He had only one boot on and his helmet was gone. Wells appeared from behind him, “Come on big man!” he yelled hopping back like a child who found sugar mountain. The biggest man grumbled and stomped forward, hands outstretched. Wells dropped a bit and pulled the man’s pants down in one swift motion, then jumped back. The man stumbled forward, Wells dropped to one knee, and the man landed face first on to the other knee, the man hit the ground like a huge lump of coal. “You’re more graceful than you put on. You will have to teach me that move.” Skully said, “The ladies love that move.” Wells replied, “I don’t need to hear about your sexual conquests, Wells.” I said in disgust, “What are you talking about, freak? I teach nude-jutsu in my free time.” Wells replied, “Oh.” I wheezed, “But that isn’t to say my sexual partners haven’t. . ” “Shut up.” Skully and I chimed in unison.

We walked over to Bloom who was trying to hobble away. Wells pushed him over with his foot, “Gah!” Bloom screamed, “Where do you think you’re going?” Wells asked. The man scowled as he looked at us, Wells bent over and took off Bloom’s glasses, “I knew it!” he proclaimed. “We already knew, the question is why is Jon pretending to be Bloom?” I asked. “Doktor Jon, why are you pretending to be Bloom?” “I’m not pretending; I am from another world, my previous vessel has since passed on.” Bloom replied, “Are you a parasite?” Skully asked, “A parasite usually dies with it’s host. It’s a space ghost that possessed Doktor Bloom.” Wells chimed in, “Thats the dumbest,” I started, “No, he’s right.” Bloom said, “We crashed here years ago, we weren’t intending on coming to Earth.” “What caused you to crash here?” Skully asked, “We do not know. Our sensors could not detect it, the same way yours can’t detect ours.” Bloom said wincing. “You possessed good people, let them go.” I said, “That’s not how it works. When our hosts go to sleep, we wake up and vice versa. We copied the knowledge they had in their brains using their neural networks. That’s how we know how to speak your language and pass by undetected.” Bloom said. “So is your name really Bloom?” Skully asked, “No, you couldn’t pronounce any of our names.” Bloom responded.

Wells got up and pulled out four sets of handcuffs, “Wow, are you always this prepared?” Skully asked, “No, I just did a little shopping while we were in THPD.” Wells replied, “Ah, stole it. Gotcha.” she said looking back down at Bloom. “How are there two different employee files for you and Jon?” I asked, “Easy, I put on a new suit and glasses then applied with a different name.” “Like a superhero.” Skully replied, “Yes, we picked up some of your culture after wandering around your fair city. Humans can’t seem to see past a pair of plain glasses.” “Actually, most of us aren’t that dumb. I think you got really lucky.” I said glancing back at Wells. “How do we know we haven’t been possessed as well?” Skully asked, “There were only four of us.” Bloom said with a sigh.

“So now you know what my next set of questions are going to be about.” I said to Bloom. “The substance we are using is an organic compound that pulls nutrients together to use for fuel. The more concentrated it gets, the better chance we have at getting something sufficient to use to get home. We need several renewable energy sources to travel as far as we have. This is but one.” “Well, your soil has been making monsters that have been wreaking havoc on this little town.” I replied, “Well, our ships are essentially fueled by monster blood.”

I stood up to contact headquarters so the quarantine specialists could come down here to get this mess taken care of, “Damn, no signal.” I said. I had Skully and Wells watch over the four cuffed men as I moved to the top of the cave.

Agent Ritter 10:01 PM TH Detainment Wing, Twin Hills, AZ

The four men sat in their cells with grimaces. “Do we let Bloom out when he becomes Jon again?” Skully asked, “I’m sure Utini Corp will think of something. They can have someone fill in Jon’s position while we get this situation settled,” I said, “when they wake up we will take them to the medical wing and tell them that they’ve contracted a rare virus that makes them sleepwalk and lash out violently, they will be able to contact their families.” “And what about what we already told Doktor Jon about the monsters?” Skully asked, “Same virus; it also affects bears, that’s what actually attacked us.” “Okay, sounds good.” she replied.

Director Artemis Squee stepped into the room, “Good work agents.” She said with approval, “I didn’t have to bail you out.” she continued. “Thank you, we try.” I said with a smile, “So you will have that report on my desk tonight then?” she asked, “Uhhh,” I started, “I’m just kidding,” Squee said putting a hand on my arm, Skully and I exhaled in relief, “I have already organized time for you to write your reports up tomorrow. Six AM, don’t be late.” she continued with a smile. Squee walked back out of the room.

“Okay well, lets get some shut eye and take care of the rest of this tomorrow.” I said, “Don’t be late,” Skully said, “I know its an impossibility for Wells.” she continued pointing to Wells curled up on a couch in the lobby.