Here is my instructional on making pre workout protein pancakes. Remember when spelling protein “I” before “E” except after “C” or I guess “T” because it sounds enough like “C” to count so fuck you you inaccurate old timey saying. I will go step by step here as these directions can get confusing.

Step 1: Wake up and roll your ass out of bed. This is going to be the most difficult task for some people, but trust me its worth it. See pictures below for details.

Step 2: Grab your phone because you are willing to risk burning your pancakes for the sake of documenting them. Say something your just awake brain thinks is witty at the time such as, “Come on little fucker we got shit to write”

Step 3: Get a bowl to mix all the stuff in.

Step 4: Mix a little almond milk with one scoop of “Triple chocolate” protein powder. I use a splash, but you can use a splish if it matters, but a splish-splash is too much.

Step 5: Mix in one egg. Not much confusion with this one here so don’t screw it up.

Step 6: Heat up a pan. I used Medium heat, but that might have been excessive so you can probably go with medium low or something, I don’t know I’m not a stove mechanic.

No Image: If you know how to read this, you can read the dials on your stove top, I believe in you.

Step 7: Pour sticky as hell contents into pan.

Step 8: Flip the cake after it gets bubbly, and cook for a little less time that the first side as the inside of the cake should be mostly cooked at the time of the flip.

Step 9: Repeat those steps if you have enough batter for a second pancake.

Step 10: That fucking butter square.

Step 11: Finish the writing for your blog post so you can actually eat the pancakes and tell people if they are good or not. This is a crucial step because if they suck you did this all for nothing but you’ve been writing this long enough that you might as well embarrass yourself and post it online anyways.

Step 12: Eat the pancakes.

Step 13: So they need a little work…

Step 14: Devise a plan to make these “triple chocolate protein pancakes” a little more palette-able and less like chewing through Styrofoam while smelling someone else eating a chocolate bar in the other room.

Step 15: Choke down the rest of your creation because this is actually your breakfast. Extra butter helps. Water might be a good thing too.

And there you have it! An easy 15 step plan to completely consume your morning before you go to the gym!

Thanks for playing

-KG(Schwartz)