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    Agent Ritter was still looking at his phone with disgust as he heard a faint noise, no it was a yell, “hey idiot!” Ritter looked to his left to see Agent Skully dragging the alien by its hands towards him as sirens in the former “UFO” but now known to be a genuine alien spacecraft blared abrasively in his ear drums. Ritter ran towards Skully and grabbed the feet of the unconscious extra-terrestrial. “Does Wells really think he knows how to land this thing?” Ritter asked, “No, but I’m sure if we find a safe spot the crash landing will do minimal damage.” Skully replied “There aren’t a lot of people in this area so there shouldn’t be a lot of damage.” “I meant to us, Ritter.” “Oh, right.”

    Wells stood at the computer smashing buttons and squeezing knobs while cursing, “Fuckity fuck!” “Glad to hear you have it handled, Wells.” Skully called out as her and Ritter heaved the creature into one of the lock beds to strap him down. Wells squinted as he looked at the impressive number of lights and gizmos flashing in his eyes, “Hmmm, there!” He put his finger onto a giant green arrow shaped screen and with a boop boop he turned to look at the secured Ritter and Skully to say, “See…eheeeeeeeeeeeee” as the ship made a hard drop and he was jettisoned into a giant tub of something that looked like biological waste.

After about two minutes the craft landed silently between the hills.

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    Wells pulled himself out the the pile of muck and looked right at Ritter and Skully while nodding and smirking,”Mmm hmm”. Ritter silently glared back and then unbuckled his harness, “Now we just need to find the exit.” “Don’t help.” Skully said as she pointed at Wells. He responds by smirking again while putting his sunglasses back on without cleaning the goop off of his face first.

    They walked through the shiny narrow corridors of the craft while admiring the tubes and struts that lined the walls looking for something indicating an exit. “There is the tractor beam room in the middle we can try.” Ritter said as they clanked on the metal floors. “Okay, how do we get to the middle?” Skully asked and Ritter just shrugs. Wells reached past both of them to point to a set of double doors, “its there, I hit the record button on Ritter’s phone while we were going up the tractor beam.” he pulls Ritter’s phone out of his own back pocket and hands it back. “How and why do you keep stealing my damned phone?” “A magician never reveals his secrets, or his motives.” he replies while wiggling his fingers. The video on the phone had already started playing, showing the inside of the room from a waist high angle as two figures walked over and picked up the phone’s operator grabbed him and dragged him from the tractor room to the procedure room. There were audibly more steps than just two figures. “So if two of them dragged each of us then we got a few more of these little guys running around in here.” Skully said, “Well that is if they didn’t become space waffles when Wells flipped the switch.”

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    The room was empty minus a large chandelier-like object hanging in the exact center of the room.  “I guess we just step under that thing and the hatch below opens? I don’t see anything indicating an on switch around here.” Skully observed. Ritter and Wells looked at each other for a brief moment before Ritter said, “I will go first.” after stepping into the center of the hatch looking for an indicator of what to do next the hatch spiraled open below him, “Whoa!” he exclaimed while staying suspended in mid-air. “Okay, it looks like I figured out step one.” Ritter said as his clothes and hair started waiving around like they were in an ocean.

    “You should try and think hard about going down.” Skully said as Ritter looked at her like a deer that just heard a gunshot. Skully then mimed pointing to her head then twinkled her fingers while moving her hands down as if playing charades trying to make someone guess, rain and Ritter’s blank look quickly changed as he nodded and closed his eyes to focus.  Down down down Ritter thought as the machine started to hum. Nothing happened until he started imagining himself actually moving in a downward motion. Bwvvvvvvv the machine went as Ritter opened his eyes and the torrent flowing around him moved downward as his clothes and hair went with it. “Ha! I got it. You just have to visualize it for the tractor to work.” Ritter called out to the other two. “Great job Ritter, I am sure that information will be great to know for the field scientists.” Skully responded. The machine whirred harder as Ritter gave a thumbs up and a nod, then his pants got ripped from his body like a trash bag in the wind.

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    “You should probably invest in a belt.” Skully called out, “I was wearing one!” Ritter yelled back, “No you weren’t.” Wells said as he held up a black belt with a shiny silver buckle and Ritter just stared like a cat looking at an empty food dish. Wells looked from Ritter to Skully, “We thought there might be more aliens on board so I needed a weapon.” Ritter continued to glare then closed his eyes and started descending the tractor beam.

Wells hoisted up the tiny creature and held it like a giant green baby. He then walked into the beam and stood there while motioning to his pants where there were visibly two belts holding his pants up. Skully watched Wells with thin lips as he descended down the beam with the look of victory painted across his face, then his sunglasses shot down and smacked the unconscious alien in the face. It’s eyes bugged out as they opened, “Reaaaaaa!” the creature screamed as it flailed violently, “Ewww!” Wells screamed as he threw his arms into the air dropping the extra-terrestrial down the exit of the tractor beam. They heard the thump about a second later, Wells stood there for a moment not making eye contact with Skully then slowly descended.

Ritter and Wells were met by Agent Squee, who after having shot them out of the sky earlier was packing away the cartoonish rocket launcher into her trunk. “There are still likely five more of these little guys in there somewhere.” Ritter said as he gestured to the little green mess.”Are any of them still alive?” Squee asked, “This one is. These little guys are very resilient to physical trauma.” Wells piped up as he took the broken sunglasses lens and put it under the alien’s nose to show steam residue. “Wells, you do realize that doesn’t excuse the fact that you treated a major discovery like a sack of old potatoes, right?” Squee asked as Wells stared back then slowly nodded as if he were guessing the answer.

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    Skully walked up not wearing a skirt or her glasses, but her grey leggings were still intact. “You didn’t learn from our mistakes?” Wells asked, “Oh, no. I definitely did.” Skully said as she held up a well folded skirt, a gun belt and her glasses. “You are faring nicely on your first assignment agent Skully, our agents need to be adaptive to their environment out here in Twin Hills.” Squee said as she looked around. A faint hum could be heard from a distance, Squee then looked and spotted what she was looking for.

    Three vans pulled up with a TH logo on the side. Two people stepped out of each van and stepped to the back of them to open the back door and pull out giant spacesuits to put on. The six of them walked over after getting dressed to consult with Agent Squee. “We are looking for five?” the bulky space suit asked. “Yes, there are likely five or more of them in the craft somewhere. Be wary, as they seem to be very resistant to physical forms of trauma, so shooting them might be a bad idea.” the space suit nodded and walked over to the other suits who constructed a giant sturdy looking ladder to shove under the craft.

    “If you don’t need us at this time, we can go take care of our written reports.” Ritter suggested as he put his belt back on. Squee considered it for a moment before responding, “Sounds like a good idea. Skully, let Ritter show you the filing procedures. We have special locks for these files just in case someone gets the idea to try and expose The TH Agency to the public. And Wells,”  she called as Wells turned his head expectantly, “you need to take a shower, I don’t know what you are covered in but it looks like trifle and smells like something that died and washed up on a beach.” Wells cocked an eyebrow and sniffed around then nodded.

    Aftermath: End